We've moved on

A new Eurovision season is coming up, and we're blogging about 2011. It's time to move on. That's why we have launched our new blog now - goodeveningeurope.wordpress.com . Please update your bookmark and come visit us for more of our blog and passion for Eurovision.

National Final, Nordic Super Saturday: Norway

All-righty then, who's gonna win in Spektrum tonight? The speculations are of course running wild on the Internet, and even though it looks like we most likely would have to practice our Haba Haba dance routine for Düsseldorf, and thank God for that, we are not yet completely sure whether Stella has it in the bag.

Let's have final glance at tonight's line-up!

Helene Bøksle: Vardlokk
If someone told us a month ago that Helene is not going to be the big favorite to win, we would have laughed. But that was before Stella came along and before Åste&Rikke surprisingly blew us all away at Ørlandet, and now we're not so sure anymore. If Helene wants to stand a chance tonight she has to get rid of the nerves which almost ruined her performance in the semi-final. So no pressure there whatsoever...

Sie Gubba: Alt du vil ha
This song lacks about everything in order to be a contender in Eurovision and has about everything needed in order for the folks around Norway to actually go head and vote for it. Which is a rather scary combination in our opinion. Mind you, this has been topping the sales charts in Norway the last few weeks so don't count it out even if it had to become a Lucky Loser to make it to the big final. We pray that our worst nightmare will not come true and just for the record there's no way we will cheer for this number in Düsseldorf.

Babel Fish: Depend on Me
Another bunch of middle aged men we don't want to hang out with in Düsseldorf. Some things are just better left behind. Babel Fish is one of them, they kind of lost us in 97. And one should think that a band of experienced blokes like them should be able to do better than the shaky performance in Skien.

The Lucky Bullets: Fire Down Below
This number has really grown on us, we like it! Suppose it proves that some songs need a dip by the Second Chance final for the voters to realize its potential. Like Bjørn Johan Muri last year. It's not exactly suitable for Eurovision and we don't think The Lucky Bullets will win, but we love them for giving us a hell of a show and for looking swell and dandy. And for the chick with the saxophone, groovy!

The BlackSheeps
We didn't believe much in this number until we actually saw them on stage in the semi-final. Lead singer Agnethe has a stage presence and charisma which far more experienced artists only can dream of. Lots of teenagers will vote for them and we would be happy for them to get a decent placing.

Stella Mwangi: Haba Haba
We have already declared our love for Stella. Being a favorite is a dangerous position to be in, but we think Stella will win Norway's hearts over tonight. Go girl!

Åste&Rikke: Not That Easy (Ah-Åh Ah-Åh)
Poor Åste has been all over the news lately as she has spent time hanging around the toilet bowl puking instead of rehearsing in Spektrum with her partner Rikke. Will she be able to get back in shape on time? At least the duo has gotten a lot of press and they might even get some sympathy votes tonight, however strange that might sound. But there's in fact something about these girls that really gets to you. They seem so downright nice, sincere and bubbly and it makes you really wish for them to do well even if you don't care much for their song.

Hanne Sørvaag: You're like a Melody
This one is tricky for us, since we are fans of Hanne and like her style and attitude. But what about the song Hanne, the song? It's just not good enough in our opinion and to be quite frank we don't think she sings well enough to be taken as a serious contender for the victory. Looking smashing on stage in a pink Leila Hafzi frock and a glittery guitar scores a lot of extra points though.


We look forward to enjoying the show tonight and will of course give you some updates along the way. Happy voting fellow Norwegians, let the best Haba Haba girl in town win!

National Final, Nordic Super Saturday: Finland

We're moving on to one of the other Nordic countries that will choose their song for Düsseldorf on February 12, namely Finland, to see if they have managed to pull something decent out of their semi-final hat this season. We loved the quirky, folksy celebration of a song from last year, and we're telling you, this was one of the few acts from the first semi-final which got a heartfelt and enthusiastic cheer from the crowd at Telenor Arena. We suppose you had to be there to feel it, since it obviously did not transcend onto the televoters around Europe. But this is just bygones by now, let's concentrate on Euroviisut 2011!

However before we give you our verdict on this year's selection, we need to take a moment and clear some stuff up. Regarding the Finns. There's a vail of enigma surrounding the Finns, we think. Even though they're our neighbors we sometimes feel we don't understand the first thing about them. Perhaps it's the language issue, or rather the fact that they hardly ever say a word, even when they're drunk. Hours of suffering through Finnish TV-dramas when we were kids has taken its toll. The Finns don't exactly seem to be the most cheerful people on earth, often displayed in Eurovision through sinister, dark songs in minor. But it doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, sometimes it can be so beautiful it hurts, it hits a cord deep down there somewhere. And we love the Finns for being strange and different, and for their passion for tango and for sticking to traditions at the same time as being state of the art modern and stylish.

Pew, good to get that off our chests! So without further ado we have now listened through all the Euroviisut songs on offer and watched the preliminary rounds' YouTube clips and given it all long and serious consideration. We're sure you all are about to burst with anticipation to hear what we think!

Eveliina Määttä - Dancing in the dark
We struggle to find out whether Eveliina has stolen Natalia Barbu's outfit from when she represented Moldova in 2007 or if it's just some rags she picked up from a garbage can. Since the ESC was in Helsinki that year it might be a combination of the two, in the case Natalia threw away her stage outfit to avoid overweight on the flight back. Perhaps YLE should consider emptying the trash cans more often then. Anyways, we're thinking Eveliina might have picked up the song from the trash also cause this is rather dreary stuff. No energy, no nerve, just flat and boring.

Sami Hintsanen - Täältä maailmaan
Could it be that Sami here were abducted by aliens at some point and when he finally was allowed to return to earth he was misplaced into the wrong decade? Cause we could have sworn that this was a song in the 1985 Finnish national final line up, if we hadn't known better. Big fat no from the GEE jury.

Milana Misic - Sydämeni kaksi maata
Ok, now were talking. This is good stuff. You can never go wrong with an amount of turquoise eye shadow the size of fairly large Finnish lake. And why hasn't anyone thought of mixing the Loveboat theme with gipsy rhythms and an oriental flare before? We suppose when you're the daughter of a Finnish Eurovision legend and a Croatian musician you do think of that sort of stuff.

Paradise Oskar - Da da dam
Ooh, this one is tricky! After someone unexpectedly does well in ESC there's bound to be a few aspiring hopefuls next year, aiming to do the same, by copying the success recipe. How can you watch Paradise Oskar without having the image of Tom Dice, or Jostein Hasselgård for that matter, racing through your head? This is so far from original as it gets, and we wonder if he can get away with it. And maybe he can, cause he's so darn cute. And it is all so neat and simple. But if you ever make it to Düsseldorf Paradise Oskar, please pick up some fashion tips. Hel Looks is a nice place to start, it will give you some pointers.

Cardiant - Rapture in time
After Lordi's victory it seems like the Finns believe they know how to make rock work in Eurovision. Fail.


Johanna Iivanainen - Luojani mun
This is perhaps the most Nordic sounding act in the line-up. We have know idea what Johanna is singing about, but she does it well, and it reminds us of some sort of children's lullaby. Perhaps a bit too boring for Eurovision, but still it's quite pretty.


Father McKenzie - Good enough
Sometimes you just love a song because it reminds you about something and makes you associate far beyond the scope it was probably originally intended to do. The theme in this song makes us think about a movie from the 80s, shot in New York during the fall, with skyscrapers and Central Park as a backdrop for yellow cabs and studio apartments, we have no idea why. Genre wise it seems to fall into the same category as the Romanian entry this year. Is this the next big thing in ESC?

Marko Maunuksela - Synkän maan tango
This year's mandatory tango fling. Doesn't do much for us we're afraid.


Saara Aalto - Blessed with love
God, what's with the bridezilla orgy on stage? No, no and no, this is just awful. 


Stala & So - Pamela
So is this suppose to be this year's favorite to win, since YLE put it last in the running order? The Finns can be very unpredictable voters, but we hope they don't go ahead and choose this glam rock number. Cause this is nothing of what it is cut out to be. It's not a good song, it's not charming, it's not funny, it's not crazy enough. And who's this Pamela anyways? Pamela Anderson? Pamela Ewing? Palmolive Shampoo? It ends up looking very unattractive and sounding equally bad. Nice haircut on the lead singer though. If he was a soccermom in her 40s, that is.


We're suspecting the Finns to go for one of the rock numbers in this bunch, but we hope they decide not to. By the end of Saturday evening we will all be a little wiser, after both Finland, Iceland and Norway have chosen their star for Düsseldorf. We suppose we just have to continue sharpening our pens until then!

Hujaza kibaba for Stella!

Ok, after trashing all those Norwegians in the semi finals, we really have to give in a little. Because we are truly, madly, deeply in love with this woman:



Dear Stella Mwangi. We are can't even begin to describe how happy we are you showed up.You are one funky chicken, and if we didn't enjoy Senegalese music enough already, we now officialy love it. And won't you take a look at the outfit from the semi final, people? That catsuit slash shorts slash skirt thingy is probably the coolest thing that has ever been to Skien. We mean, who says your legs actually have to go through the skirt? Not Stella, that's for sure. She just leaves it behind. Also, it is very good for showing off Stella's admirable killer bod, to be admired by GEE forever as we hit our spinning classes.

We are now actually looking forward to the final this Saturday. And can you please promise us the Norwegian Kenyan will win over WannabefairyHelene? Because we are not sure yet, and it would really break our heart to see Stella go. Can you please remember that when you hit your cell?

Haba Haba Hujaza Kibaba!

(You can practice the dance, btw. Click here for intructions).

National Final, Nordic Super Saturday: Iceland

Along with Norway and Finland, our Nordic neighbors out west will also choose their representative for Düsseldorf on February 12. We haven't paid much attention to their semi-final season, but the lucky seven selected for the big final will of course undergo serious scrutiny:

    •    Haraldur Reynisson - Ef ég hefði vængi
    •    Erna Hrönn Ólafsdóttir - Ástin mín eina
    •    Yohanna - Nótt
    •    Matthías Matthíasson & Erla Björg Káradóttir - Eldgos
    •    Jógvan Hansen - Ég lofa
    •    Magni Ásgeirsson - Ég trúi á betra líf
    •    Sigurjón's friends - Aftur heim

We have a special weak spot for those Icelanders, after all they're just a bunch of vikings who got bored of staying in Norway some thousand years ago and who could really blame them for that? It may be a leap of faith to compare the vikings with those who tries to conquer Europe on the Eurovision stage nowadays, but we expect nothing less than top notch entries erupting from the Saga Island (our sincere apologies for this season's poorest pun so far).

In that regard we are somewhat disappointed that this year's national final appears to be a yawnathon of gigantic dimensions, with only a couple of noteworthy exceptions. If our Icelandic friends want to see the GEE squad enthusiastically waving the Icelandic flag in Espirit Arena they have to give us something we at least could work with and warm up to. And as for now we are desperately seeking some straws to grab on to.

Cause there is this thing about ballads in ESC, usually they need to really stand out in order to grab our attention. There has to be full-blown goose bumps, shivers down our spines and on the verge of tearing up, having an emotional meltdown towards the build-up of the last chorus when the grand key change kicks in. And just by flipping through the songs on YouTube we are certainly not getting anywhere close feeling exactly that.  

Erna Hrönn, Yohanna and Magni tries their best, but it just all feels a wee bit too neat, inoffensive and indifferent. Which is sad cause we have shamelessly stared at Erna Hrönn when she has been competing for Iceland in ESC before as a backing singer for various other artists. She has a baffling stage presence and her beautiful smile formerly bursts out of the TV screen even when she's barely visible in the background. We would love for her to finally get her chance to shine in the spotlight, but unfortunately we think her song is just too dull and forgettable. And Yohanna, wow, talk about x-factor, we absolutely adore her. This year's ballad is not by far as strong as her ESC runner-up from two years ago, but if there is someone who has the ability to lift an average, going nowhere and certainly not likely to qualify from the semi-final tune, it must be her.

Haraldur Reynisson and Sigurjón's friends compete in the harmless, non-edgy, trying to be charming sing-along ditties. We can't really see any of them going somewhere and at least not to Düsseldorf, even though we do expect Sigurjón's friends to get buckets of sympathy votes since this is the song that Sjonni Brink has written and was to perform himself. His tragic and unexpected death put a stop to that.

The mid tempo, anthemic, shout your feelings out in the air song from Jógvan Hansen might be a grower. First it did nothing for us, but after hearing it a couple of times more, we realize its potential. It has quite a contemporary sound, and thrown in a dance routine by the backing singers and fireworks on stage it might work out.

And last but not least there's Matthías Matthíasson & Erla Björg Káradóttir with Eldgos. Oh! My! God! Someone please pick our gobs up from the floor! This is so insane and over the top that we don't know where to begin. Mix one "omg, the world is so cruel, I just wanna kill myself" emo kid (or kid, isn't this bloke too old for this stuff anyways?) with a valkyrie belting out whatever as if the world's gonna end today, and this is what you get, apparently. The Icelanders will have some nerves choosing this entry for Düsseldorf we'd say. But we're pretty sure some Eastern European country will love it, so why not..

We have no idea which direction the wind will blow, but we're all gonna find out on Scandinavian Super Saturday! (To be correct it should be Nordic but then our cheeky alliteration goes down the drain.)

Retro Sunday: Norway 1984

After quite a tiresome period of semi finals in Norway, we really have to bring you this:



We mean, we were getting completely delusional over here, thinking Norway can't do anything right. We just seem to be splurging on cheer leaders, opera wannabes, grown boybands, old farmers and acnecious teenage boys in desperate need of haircuts thinking they're Justin Bieber these days. Sorry to be blunt, but man, that hurts.

But dear friends. Just in case you watched some of the semi finals: We promise, promise, promise there have been times when we weren't this boring. There was a 1984 of the glorious Dollie De Luxe. A 1984 of dressing up in hillarious clothing, tied up hair in weird places and killer sandals while being watched by four dark somethings up on a podium. That year when everyone started walking back and forth with large steps swinging their arms resolutely from side to side without looking at all like soldiers, just like happy, crazy chicks. We Norwegians actually did that too, and we're oh, so proud of it. Aren't you?

Guess Orwell was all wrong about 1984, because those were the days, we tell you. We wanted our lives and hopes to last forever, and we were just happy joy joy people. Ok, so we didn't win that year. But we did good. Much better than now. We believed in ourselves. And everyone's still in love with Benedicte Adrian. 1984 FTW!

PS We are seriously suggesting NRK introduces affirmative action into the semi finals next yer. Because way too many boring men make it to the final it seems. And it's the women who do the trick, there as other places in society. At least we're really happy Stella Mwangi is in the final. She's our hope when it comes to evoking the glory of the 80s. Haba haba!

What's cooking in the state of Denmark?

Last Thursday, the GEE-girl whom is currently stationed in Copenhagen attended broadcaster DR's press conference where the ten acts to compete in the Danish national final DMGP were revealed and presented. We still struggle coming to terms with the rubbish song they scored a 4th place with last year, however being in a reasonably forgiving mood we must admit that we're très excited about what's on the Danish smorgasbord this year. After all we will be on front row seats in Ballerup Super Arena in a few weeks time, we need to find a favorite to cheer for!

We know you're already up to speed by now on who's on and who's not and who's lurking behind the scenes as song writers and such, so we won't bore you with all the details. This is more of an account of our first impressions and what we think about the 2011 edition of DMGP so far, which we of course believe people will find most interesting!

During the press meeting as the different artists and song writers were presented from the podium, a slight murmur broke out among the journalists, bloggers and fans present. Concerned looks were exchanged, telling us something along the lines of "WhoTF is that?", "What's he/she/they doing here?" "Where are all the Danes, where is Birthe Kjær, for crying out loud!". Because this year's line-up truly is international, both off and on stage.

These are the selected artists (running order is not decided yet):

A Friend in London
 - New Tomorrow
Anne Noa - Sleepless
Christopher Brandt
 - Emma
Jeffrey
 - Drømmen
Jenny Berggren - Let Your Heart Be Mine
Kat and Justin Hopkins - Black and Blue
Lee Hutton - Hollywood Girl
Le Freak - 25 Hours a Day
Sine Vig
 - You'll Get Me Through
Stine Kinck - Hvad hjertet lever af

The always annoying Swede and Schlager Guru Thomas G:son has his sticky fingers attached to two of the numbers, performed by Le Freak and the former superstar Jenny Berggren from the 90s supergroup Ace of Base. A bunch of other Swedish middle aged men were presented as composers and lyricists behind quite a few of the other numbers as well, but we can't remember their names. And then there's this British bloke, Lee Hutton who's popular in Ireland apparently. A couple of sturdy Danish household names are perhaps missing, but we guess there's nothing wrong with a fresh and new approach, and while some of the artists looked extremely boring, like Sine Vig, others clearly have potential, like A Friend in London and first and foremost Stine Kinck, sporting fabulous big hair and the most wicked outfit of the day.

We are of course curious about what Jenny Berggren will dish up, but at the moment we are not overly optimistic. At the press meeting, she didn't quite seem to grasp the fact that her former stardom has a great emphasis on former and she was waltzing around looking more like a grumpy late-30-something, whom we easily could have mistaken for one of those awful housewives spending way too much time and effort blogging about their perfect homes and kids and husbands and diets and exercise regimes and God knows what. Perhaps she's the most likable and heart-warm person ever coming out of Sweden, but for now she's hiding it all too well. It wouldn't hurt to cheer up a tiny tad and enjoy the moment, we got more than our share of cold and stuck up farts representing Denmark last year.

Let's wait to pass our judgement any further until we get to listen to the songs first. Not even snippets were played during the presentation and it was a bit like having cake, without being allowed to eat it. Luckily there were free food and champagne, so digging into the buffet afterwards served as a fair enough consolation.

For the time being we are most exited about Stine Kinck. She's to perform Hvad hjertet lever af and could assure us that she has an inner Dragqueen waiting to be unleashed and that she will put on quite a show in Ballerup Super Arena. Hurrah, we can hardly wait!

MGP, lucky losers semi final: Live blog

19.45: Update before the final starts. The audience is, surprise surprise, ready. Anne's dress does not seem to fit.
19.46: A little chance to win a million before the MGP starts on NRK. In case you're wondering, this final is for the lucky losers from the other semi finals. We're not that optimistic about the quality, but yay to seeing Gata's parlament again.
19.55: And we're in. Not overly excited about this.
19:56: Look, there's the trailer. It's not stolen after all!
19:57: Dear Anne with an e, what happened? Your hair disappeared and your bod is popping out of your dress any minute now. Oh, we wish you at least knew how to be funny and charming.
19:59: Oh so THAT's how Sarpsborg looks like. And here we were really hoping that song was one of the entries.
20:03: Do we really need to hear Pernille & Marius again? FML.
20:04: Here's a couple of teenagers showing up wanting us to use them. Nothing new there. But guess they're charming enough. Unlike most other participants this year. Can someone tell them about MGP Junior, maybe?
20:07: Who told these guys eyes are not allowed on MGP, but should be covered under a lot of hair? Not a good hint.
20:08: Lads and gents, you can pee now. It's time for Pernille & Marius.
20:09: Really liking Marius' shirt. Oh yes. Trying to focus on that.
20:11: Enter cheerleading, exit GEE sympathy.
20:13: And we're officially totally embarassed by NRK's way of trying to get poor teenagers to vote as much as possible. They should never ever pay their TV license money when they grow up.
20:15: Oh, look, there's a band your grandpa might have gathered from the recycling container. It's Sie Gubba.
20:20: Remind us again, who is that blonde chick blabbering away between songs and how did she get that job?
20:21: Dear Mimi Blix: We're sure your hands are so much prettier than those latex gloves. You can't even use your iPhone with those, let alone perform a decent MGP song. And you know, many people are actually allergic to latex, including GEE.
20:23: Why DID all MGP artists decide on bringing back 2Unlimited? They are best left alone, we can ensure you.
20:24: Sie Gubba ensures us they never would have done the same as Mimi Blix when they were 19. Thank you, we are really relieved. Although this might have been more in fashion then.
20:26: Now we have teenagers and a recycled band in the semi-final of the semi-final. Ok, then.
20:28: Finally some decent guys. Here's Gatas Parlament. Good stuff, and we're not sure whether we'd like to ride that elephant or them.
20:29: Please, people, if you are to spend your cell phone bill on this competition, now's the time.
20:32: Enter brylcreme. We do like brylcreme, we have to say. But we're afraid these lucky bullets seem a little bit misplaced after all. But man, that sailor woman sure knows how to play a saxophone.
20:38: The Lucky Bullets won the duel. Oh, well. As long as the sailor woman's in.
20:40: Getting ready to be cougars again. Here's Endre.
20:44: Guess a little metal is needed in every MGP-final. And for that Susperia is not a bad option. This is at least decent music.
20:49: Susperia is the last participant for the semi-final of the semi-final. Jeez, we have to listen to four of the artists one more time. We're on a brake until 21:30. See you then, peepz.
21:30: We're back for the semi-final of the semi-final of the lucky losers of the other semi-finals. There's Use Me, Sie Gubba, Lucky Bullets and Susperia to be played again. Jeez, what's up with male supremacy? Do we need to introduce affirmative action?
21:31: Since Anne's dress didn't pop yet, we might as well admit we did like that shoulder thing.
21:35: Teenagers vs recycling guys. Definetly going for younger rather than older. The former at least know their rhymes.
21:37: Is that guy in the leather jacket actually handsome? Or are we just starting to starv?
21:39: "Soon we will hear a new song", Anne says. Wow, impressive sharing of information.
21:40: We're really, really sorry to inform you that we think Sie Gubba will show up in Spektrum.
21:43: Hint to hair dresser of Sie Gubba's lead singer: A little bit shorter in the neck next time.
21:46: Still wondering where the saxophonist of The Lucky Bullets got her shorts. And if we can borrow them for Düsseldorf. Since she won't be going.
21:50: This "spontaneous" singing of Voi Voi is truly embarassing. Please stop.
21:57: Wow, naked male butts on TV. Not that interesting really. More like a way too obvious proposal to the gay crowd.
22:02: Wow, when did Maria Haukaas-Mittet turn into a crazy bride from the 80s? That dress is not flattering.
22:05: Although they are good singers, this intermission entry feels a bit like when Whitch Whitch flopped on West End.
22:10: Oh no, we have to hear Sie Gubba ONE MORE time. FML FML FML.
22:12: Wow, we actually have The Lucky Bullets in the final. That's cool, peepz. See you in Spektrum. And at the after party, for sure.

Lucky Losers' Night

The lucky losers from the previous three semi-finals in Norway will battle it out in Sarpsborg tonight over the last two tickets for the big final in Oslo Spektrum next Saturday. Tonight's show is being neatly organized with duels and a tournament kick out system, but we are not exactly bouncing off the walls and have a hard time seeing how this can become more exciting than watching paint dry. The novelty of the numbers sort of wears off and even though it's likely that one of the lucky losers might score a decent placing in the final, it's very unlikely we have a winner in this bunch.

It's funny how all the Norwegian tabloids keep obsessing about Mimi Blix, when it's pretty obvious that she has one of the weakest entries to have made it this far, and chances are that the group Sie Gubba, which after all has been topping the sales charts in Norway after their performance at Ørlandet, will be one of the acts to qualify. Dagbladet's breaking news could inform us that the above mentioned Mimi woke up with a headache yesterday. Most interesting. Suppose that only proves to show that a picture of a pretty young face generates far more clicks than a few middle aged lads.

We will be rooting for the bad boys tonight, however the duel set up is working against us, so we will be happy if either Gatas Parlament or Susperia scores one of the remaining tickets. The duels on the opposite side of the chart we frankly couldn't care less about.

San Marino is back in the game

It would be a shame to claim that this tiny republic enclaved in Italy has been dearly missed i Eurovision. In fact, if you blinked a couple of times during the broadcast of the 2008 edition of ESC you might actually have missed them entirely. Still, we care about their return and welcome them back into the fold with open arms and great enthusiasm. Because their participation does matter, it adds even more flavor and diversity to the competition, it's one more act to review and discuss, hate or love. And there's also a good chance for even one more song to be sung in Italian which can only be a good thing.

The Sammarinese broadcaster SMRTV will announce the artist and the song to be performed during a press conference tomorrow, February 3. There is of course frantic speculations on the various fan forums on who that might be, and a vast majority calls out for Paola & Chiara. Which would not be a bad choice. We can't say that we are as familiar with the Sammarinese music scene to be able to contribute with any qualified guesses in these speculations, but it suddenly hit us that it might be Glenys Vargas. After all she is located in Rome, she's on the search for a country to represent, and we figure she is bound to be well connected in that corner of Europe. So that must be our best bet, but let's wait and see tomorrow!

Let The Music Unite Us - Glenys Vargas feat. Kevin Ettienne

Will we be hearing this in Düsseldorf, we wonder? We better start practicing our Flash Mob moves then, cause there's no way we are staying in our seats when Glenys takes to the stage!

Glenys Vargas for Eurovision 2011?

Remember the foxy choir chick behind Albania's Juliana Pasha on stage in Oslo? We remember thinking she didn't look very Albanian, and it turns out she's far from it. Check out the story behind why Albania ended up having three American backing singers on stage, on Glenys Vargas' blog, and yes it's her in the middle:

This could have been the end to an interesting story, and it sure is entertaining to get some juicy gossip on Glenys' blog from behind the scenes from an "outsider gone insider's" view. We are very sorry that we didn't get to meet her in Oslo as she sounds like heaps of fun to hang out with.

However, now it seems like the story will continue so let's join Glenys in Part 2 of her exciting Eurovision adventure. During her experience in Oslo, the native born New Yorker Glenys grew to become a huge Eurovision fan, and we certainly like the ring of that! It just proves to show the universal appeal of this wonderful contest. We already know how crazy the Australians are about Eurovision, a special relationship we learned a whole lot about after reading this nicely penned article on ESCInsight. And we have been told that there's a growing interest across the pond as well.

Glenys is for the time being based in Rome, Italy and recently we found out that she has started her search for a country to represent in next year's contest in Düsseldorf, this time as a lead singer. How cool is that? She tried out for Austria first together with London based rapper Kevin Ettienne, but unfortunately none of their entries were among the lucky 30 when the selection got narrowed down first time around. However Glenys is not going to give in that easy and she's having another shot trying to become picked up by other countries' selection rounds and we are of course crossing our fingers hoping she will succeed.

One of the songs she entered the Austrian selection with, "Let the Music Unite Us", Glenys wrote especially with Eurovision in mind and she describes it as a song that makes you dance. It has a pop beat with some world music influences and a touch of David Guetta style plus a Jamaican rap. Although it wasn't picked up by the Austrians we have a feeling that it perhaps will pop up somewhere else since it has been revealed through Glenys' fanpage on Facebook that she has shot a video for this song which includes a Flash Mob from Rome. Sounds very exciting and like a nice Eurovision tribute to the pan European Flash Mob we all danced along to some months ago in Oslo.

We have no idea whether Glenys will make it to Düsseldorf as an artist this year, but we love her for trying and for sharing the passion with us. We wish her the very best of luck and recommend our readers to check out Glenys' Facebook page, to find out more and support her in her quest of finding a country to represent in ESC. Besides, if you are curious about the Flash Mob music video it will be posted there tomorrow!

GEE to the rescue!

Norway is rapidly approaching a national crisis as someone actually stole the MGP stage a couple of minutes ago. GEE will of course help, but first we have to say: Wow, that is one huge effort stealing an entire stage. Kudos to you, robbers. Second we would like to scream: Shame on you, bad boy! And then last, but not least: We know the police won't have time for solving this, because they don't have time for anything but complaining about the lack of time and money in this country. That's why it's so fortunate that you are in posession of two crime solving GEE chicks on speed dial in this neighbourhood of Europe.

As for now we have figured out a couple of solutions for you:

1. Namsos stole it. They are after all the one and only Rock City in this country. And stealing a stage to be able to host the last MGP semifinal is a very rocknrollish way of doing things. Kudos if that's the solution, we'd say, and we already booked Widerøe and Namdalsavisa for you, Per.
2. Armenia stole it. We did after all tell them we'd like them to do our country finals as well, since they are actually capable of making good Eurovision songs. And you know how badly half jokes translate.
3. Alexander Stenerud took it home. He suddenly remembered he is the only one in this country who totally owns the MGP stage. So why would anyone else drag it around?

Oh, well, those are the theories we are working on for now. But there could be more to this, and please give any clues you might have to the GEE hotline.

And stay tuned for the next episode of GEE and the mystery of the disappearing stage.

Retro Sunday: Latvia 2005

Reality struck harsh earlier this week when we received the sad news that Latvian singer/songwriter Mārtiņš Freimanis died at only 33 due to serious complications caused by an influenza infection. This week's Retro Sunday is dedicated to him and goes out to all the people who mourn the loss of this talented young man:



We have previously listed this song as one of our favorite entries of all times. It is such a gem in all its simplicity and even though perhaps not as well performed as it could be, the quality of the song carry Walters & Kazha over troubled vocal water and what they may lack in skills they make up for with bundles of charm and heartfelt joy over being up on that stage in Kiev.

Thank you Mārtiņš Freimanis for giving us this song. RIP.

Our condolences to the Dutch

The Dutch will select their entry for Düsseldorf tonight, which are to be performed by the boyband, or should we rather say manband, 3js. What's up with all these manbands anyways, we're starting to fear that Düsseldorf will end up as male thirty something clinging to their youth convention.

Like Blue in the UK, 3js was selected internally by the national broadcaster TROS, however the Dutch public will partly be allowed to have their say, as five songs have been singled out through some sort of reality-show or docu-soap, if we are not completely mistaken.

We have a really hard time understanding the Dutch and their taste in music. Having visited this otherwise lovely country at several occasions we have been constantly reminded of this fact when trying to find a decent bar or pub to hang out without having our ears raped with god-awful oontz-oontz beats or some horrific ompa-ompa yodeling. We mean, WTF is up with that? Get a grip and welcome to 2011, Stroopwafels!

Unfortunately this doesn't seem to happen anytime soon, at least not on the ESC scene. After listening to snippets of the five selected songs for tonight's final our ears hurt like hell and we kinda hope that the Dutch will come to their senses and just cancel this year's participation and stay at home. Because newsflash, none of these songs seem to have a snowball's chance in hell of ever making it past the semi-final.

Do you think we're being to harsh on the poor buggers? Well, have a listen yourself and you tell us:

Out of the Blue

Last night BBC announced that the boyband Blue will represent UK in Düsseldorf with the song "I can". We are trying to figure out whether it can be considered an admission of failure that the power to choose the entry has been taken out of the hands of the Brits. Are the British voters to blame for the last years miserable failures or should BBC blame themselves for failing to mould a successful format for the national selection process, only to put the voters between a rock and a hard place forcing them to select rubbish songs year after year?

We recall Norwegian broadcaster NRK pulling a similar stunt back in 1991. The group Just 4 Fun was internally selected and they crashed and burned performing the dreadful song Mrs. Thompson in Rome. The Norwegian audience was not happy and NRK never dared to cancel the national final ever again.

Taking a closer look at the chosen act Blue, we can't help but wonder if the BBC are trying to win the 2001 edition of Eurovision Song Contest. Perhaps the once successful boyband still enjoys a certain standing and popularity domestically in the UK, however to us their name reeks of long lost fame and faded greatness. Still, the same could be said about A1 and they nearly ended up representing Norway on home turf last year. We could have easily settled for the boyband gone manband over the flop we ended up with. Last year's Norwegian entry proved beyond doubt that that the televoters are not always in the position of making an informed and sane decision. When the bulk of the voters consists of screaming teenage girls and middleaged moms you sometimes end up with the strangest stuff.

We look forward to hearing the chosen song and we promise to keep an open mind hoping to be pleasantly surprised. We dread a dated R&B ballad, though. Cause it would be an awful shame for the UK to end up as the Lanterne Rouge again, wouldn't it...

All rise for the return of the UK on top of the scoreboard

Third time's a charm? MGP semi-final in Skien tonight!

Oh well, we finally managed to dig us back up from that hole we fell into after last Saturday's travesty in Florø. And it's picking up. We could actually listen to most of the songs in tonight's line-up, without getting the urge of throwing the MacBook out the window even once, which is not bad at all.

Susperia is this year's rock alibi, and it makes sense for Norway to send an act like this to the international ESC final. Much more than salsa/latino rhythms or balkan beats which just appears as a phony way of getting votes from countries which would not normally vote for Norway. That's just embarrassing and it ain't working either. But Nothing Remains is the kinda song that folks would vote for regardless of nationality. It's a strong melody with powerful vocals and it feels real. We didn't care much for Turkey's polished family rock last year, nor the Finnish orks or the Norwegian glam rockers from a few years back for that sake, but this is something else. As GEE rock chicks we can definitely see ourselves having a beer with these blokes in a dodgy basement kneipe in Düsseldorf in a few months. Hell yeah!

Next up is Nora Noor and she is one cool, funky soul sister, that's for sure. Teamed up with one of our favorite song writers, Simone Larsen, it's off to an extremely positive start before we've even heard the first cord. Gone With The Wind has a rather cheesy title we must say, but Nora seems to pull it off, this is groove, feel and flow to the rim. We are much in favor of her soulful, sexy, credible performance over let's say Åste&Rikke from the first semi-final who operate in the same musical landscape. Looking forward to watching the live performance and we hope Nora doesn't go all overboard with the vocal improvisations. Sometimes less is more, baby.

There's been much talk about the group Girl Happy this week. Supposedly they are the Alexander Stenerud replacements this year. And if that's a fact we might as well coin them as the poor man's Alexander Stenerud straight away. We're sorry guys, thanks for trying, but there's no way you can live up to our MGP God.

We wish we could have said something clever and funny about the next soul chick coming up, but unfortunately we fell asleep about three seconds into Grethe Svendsen's Like Dreamers Do.

The BlackSheeps should wake us up quite quickly, and this is one of the acts we had highest hopes to right from the moment the participants were announced. However, we must admit we're disappointed. How much can one expect from a bunch of youngsters half our age, we guess we ought to cut them some slack, they have the future ahead of them. We would be happy to welcome them back at a later stage, with a stronger song than this year's Dance Tonight which is nowhere near the same league as the smashing JMGP Nordic winner "Oro Jaska Beana".

Stella Mwangi got us back on our feet alright, and got our groove back in a flash. Just having a corny song title such as Haba Haba is basically sufficient to keep us on our toes and wonder WTF this is all about. We can't stop thinking about France from 1990 and Guadeloupean Joëlle and her Caribbean oil barrel drums. Of course she had the svengali and French legend Serge Gainsbourg behind her, so it would be a shame to compare the two. But this is a happy go lucky song in the "Guilty Pleasure" department, and it can't be ignored. The Hakuna Matata vibes are about as subtle as a kick in the teeth and that's just too much to our taste.

The award to best dressed act, it there had been such a thing, would probably go to The Lucky Bullets. We love their sharply dressed Don Draper look, which is more than enough to set Fire Below. They're keeping it real musically also, no compromises, just honest straight forward rockabilly. We think that's cool, but in MGP, no thank you, we're afraid.



Finally some decent competition for Helene Bøksle. During the couple of last years the MGP winner came out of the semi-final in Skien. We're guessing that would probably happen this year as well. Third time's the charm and so on and so forth...

Retro Sunday: Norway 2010

This week's Retro flashback sort of just came to us when contemplating the ridiculously poor quality of last night's MGP semi-final:



It just dawned on us when watching Alexander doing a medley of his previous three MGP entries during the interval act that it can't get any better than this. It puts all this year's participants in an extremely awkward position cause it is so utterly revealing when you compare the quality. Alexander totally owned the stage setting pretty much every panty in Norway on fire. Why on God's green earth could he not win last year with this sublime Eurovision schlager anthem is completely beyond us. And mind you, we did actually vote for Alexander, so we are not to blame.

So here we are, giving it to you, this is what you missed seeing in Telenor Arena last year. If only just...

MGP, second semi final: Live blog

20:00: There's Anne? Or is it? Love the dress, absolutely hate the hair. She looks like...erm, can't really figure out what she looks like.
20.02: Look, there's Ovi! Good stuff!
20:03: Per Sundnes blabbering away.
20:04: We just can't believe Ovi wrote that garbage song.
20:06: Man, that bloke is on steroids.
20:07: Oh, but do we love Pernille's dress! And the song is a little better allthough lyrics still hurt.
20.08: We take that back as Pernille just turned into a cheerleader. And WHAT's up with that gang in the background?
20:09: Jeez, Anne Rimmen, you are one boring chick for looking so good.
20.10: When did Per turn into a ranger? A gay man should know how to look a little bit better when chatting up four swell blokes like that.
20:12: What's up with standing inside a house? We're still not loving this. Gawd, please make 'em stop.
20.13: You are not dependable, man. Really aren't. Cut your hair.
20.15: Finally Marika. But man, that dog is annoying.
20:17: Oooh, love the hat and the skirt. Really feel sorry for the man stuck inside a picture frame, though. 20:20: Quele quele opa, man. This is all of Eurovision captured in one song. Just like it should be. Go girl!
20:20: Oh no, 2 Unlimited again.
20:21: Christians coming through. We're happy Isabella do not aim for the new Bjørn Eidsvåg position. One is more than enough.
20:24: That is one horrible outfit. Suits the song.
20:25: OMG, FORGET about that sand, will you?
20:27: Anne Rimmen still giving us very shocking information: We have now listened to four songs.
20:29: WHO cut Endre's hair? Please fire that hairdresser.
20:31: Take your jacket off, man. You're inside.
20:31: Please tell us we do not have four aerobic people in the background there
20:32: Still enjoying this. Kinda embarassing. And feeling a little cougarish.
20:34: Thank you Justin Bieber, see you in Spectrum.
20:35: Not looking forward to this. Hanne is so lovely, but the song really isn't
20:36: Omg, that lovely, lovely dress. Please don't start singing. Please, please, please....
20:37: Is this Anna Bergendal's mother? The catastrophy is inevitable. Now we just wait for it to end.
20:39: We're sure we can get you into p4, now stop.
20:42: Is MGP still on or did we accidentally switch to Top Model?
20:43: Baby, you are not all right. Nough said.
20:45: WHEN is this over?
20:46: We keep wondering if Anne's hair is exported back to London. What happened there?
20: 47: Finished allready? But we haven't heared anything we love yet. How is that possible?
20:49: We can't understand who will win this. But as long as it's not Isabella, we'll survive.
20:49: Ready for Alexander Stenerud now. Our hearts start beating really fast. What number do we use for voting for him?
20:50: And omg, there's Sigrid. She's lovely. But can she really find a man in Florø? We think not.
20:51: Omg, there's men in speedos!
20:52: Even firemen looks bad in Florø. Get out of there!
20:56: Look at us, Alexander! Over here! You know our heart is yours!  But you forgot to button your shirt, man.
20:57: Always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always we love you.
20:57: Oh, no. Cougar senior coming through.
20:59: Jeez, grandma Guri is one horrible chick. Get away from  Alexander!
20:59: Give it to us, baby!
21:02: Oh no, we're not rid of Mimi Blix yet.
21:03: One more chance for Endre. Yay.
21:04: Get out of here! Who put Hanne in the final? WHY do we have to hear this one more time?
21:05: She's cute and all, but the song, people? The song? Isn't that important at all?
21:06: Oh, the horror, the horror!
21:08: Now we're kinda happy Per Sundnes decided Helene Bøksle will win this year. Because that means this one won't.
21:09: Starting to worry the Babelfishes will win
21:10: And they did. This is horrible!
21:11: FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML. Telly goes OFF. Good night.

Second MGP semi-final coming up

All right, then. Another Norwegian semi-final coming up and time for us to get judgmental. Today we've been such organized bitches and listened to all the song in the right order. Not so much good stuff going on, but a little. Here are the votes of the GEE jury:

Pernille og Marius: I'll Be Yours
Let's just be perfectly clear: If you are, say, a Eurovision artist and want to be loved by GEE bloggers, there's a couple of factors that automatically will disqualify. Probably the safest route to that little space of horror and forgotten wannabes would be the use of sentences like "every time you're around" and "when I'm with you, I feel the rush" and "I wanna be your love" and "From head to my toes, I wanna be yours". In fact we’d even send people who can make themselves utter "I'll be yours forever more" out of the country, the planet and this solar system in general. The song has got plenty of annoying drum machines and other stuff for us to trash, but we just can’t get past the lyrics. Sorry, peepz.

Babel Fish: Depend on me
Babel Fish is back. But the only translation we get is that of adapting Boyzone to a new century. Now that’s something we do not need. Still quite charming old lads, this, and we actually enjoyed the song for the first quarter of a second. Not bad for such a dire tune. It’s not off the beaten track, it’s right in the middle, and that’s not where we enjoy spending our time. On that you can depend. Traduttore, traditore.

Marika: Hungry for you
You know trends tend to arrive late in our country. But finally some gypsy chick came calling even here. And yay to that. Because we absolutely love Marika’s Hungry for you. Could be due to the fact that she continued a striking combination of the Opa! and Milan Stankovic into 2011, but at least she does it in her own way. We can’t wait for this to enter the stage of Florø. Because we’re sure she can dance and at least her utterance “If you wanna be with me, you’ve got to drink with me” is the ultimate bull's eye. We can even forgive the woman for the 2 Unlimited ending. We’re hungry for more.

Isabella: Sand
Oh no, someone remembered 4 Non Blondes and turned them into one blonde. Not working, people. After all, there was a reason for the NON blondes. This is one of those songs that try a little bit of everything along the way. Midway you find yourself asking “Is this still the same song? Is it good? What is it like, exactly? Isn’t it way too long? What the hell is going on? Did I miss something?” Well, don’t worry, our friend. We can tell you this one is better off missed. Time to pee. But one thing is for sure: Isabella will write your name down in sand. Good night and good luck with that, hon.

Endre: Oh, oh puppy love
Oh no, puppy love. We’d hate this song just for the title. Problem is we don’t. How is that even possible? Don’t even think it’s due to those teasing eyes of Endre, because we haven’t had time to study them. Maybe we just think he deserves to be in love. And we do digg those rhytms. This is simple, straightforward entertainment, thus easy to like. Even though we know we shouldn’t.

Hanne Sørvaag: You’re like a melody
Hanne Sørvaag is one of our fav Norwegian Eurovision sweethearts. That’s why we hate ourselves a little bit for hating this. Well maybe not hating, it’s way too futile and anonymous for that. This is not like our favorite song at all. It’s like any other melody. And for that she deserves to be punished. Even though she can sing.

Mimi Blix: Allergic
Oh, honey. You really are one beautiful chick with a funny name. And we can’t even believe the news telling us you never had a boyfriend. That’s why we’d love to party with you in Germany. But the song, baby, the song. Here’s a piece of advice for you: Quit music. Stick to your drumsticks. And keep posing. But no sound, please. No sound.



So, what is our overall opinion, exactly? Have to say, this is not the best of semi-finals. And our hopes are not that high for the MGP-final in general after listening our way through two semi-finals. But dearest Marika, we do thank you. You will make tonight's hour of television worthwile. And we will keep our SMS skills ready. See you in Spectrum, hon!

No logo

So, here's what we picture happened when Germany made a UK office draw them a logo for Eurovision, and UK handed over this:

The participants:
Mr. Cameron - a gentleman striving to keep it up as a prime minister with absolutely no love for Eurovision, but with very strong competitive skills.
Mr. Clegg - yet another gentleman striving to keep his buddy David up to date on important European matters such as...say, Eurovision.  
Chancellor Merkel - a woman striving to avoid the subject of Eurovision by passing on as much of the dirty work as possible to her not so close friends in UK.

We approach Mr. Cameron and Mr. Clegg as they are doing their daily 9 to 5 work at the office:


Mr Cameron: Did you see this quite formal letter from the Germans asking us to design a logo? How very extraordinary!

Mr Clegg: Why certainly, David. What are we to make of this? Could it be some sort of joke? I mean it's not like we are close allies or anything.

Mr Cameron: Yes, that is a quite appropriate question, Nick. But I do not know the Germans as great humorists. Allthough Chancellor Angela did at one point laugh at my excuisite joke about Icelandic banks.

Mr Clegg: Oh no, not that joke again, please. But if this is not a joke, then perhaps it could be a gesture of pity? You know, since we really suck at Eurovision, mind the language, and they didn't this year?

Mr. Cameron: My, Nick! Is that true?

Mr. Clegg: Yes, David. You know very well that dark little German satellitegirl with that way too red lipstick won this year. We watched it in Downing Street, remember? We were so happy to finally be using all that hi tech surveillance equipment for something important. I know you don't love Eurovision as much as me, but you gotta know this great moment in time!

Mr. Cameron: All right, all right, I do remember. You mean that pale girl? Judging by the accent I thought she was some sort of a Chav from one of those poor British suburbs I never visited. If not, then where were the British? Didn't they share the moment?

Mr. Clegg: That is a matter best left unmentioned, I'm afraid.


Mr. Cameron: Do the Germans really believe they can defeat us? That is a national scandal! We may only have blood, sweaty teenagers, soiled songwriters and tears, but we shall not flag or fail, we shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Düsseldorf, we shall fight on the stages and on television, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the semi finals...

Mr. Clegg: We don't actually have to be in...

Mr. Cameron: ...we shall defend our music whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the final. We may have lost A1 to Norway, and weird Chavs to Germany, but we shall never surrender.

Mr Clegg: Very well then, David. We do not recognize the meaning of the word defeat. I suggest we give the Germans the worst piece of crap we are able to make. How about we make it ourselves, even? I have a drawing tool on my iPad right here. That oughta send them a message.

Mr. Cameron: I am ready. We need a method and an object. Economics are the method; the object is to change the heart and soul.

Mr. Clegg:  Yes, minister, heart! That is an excellent idea! I actually know how to draw a heart! Pass me the gin, I am creative now. This will be the best joke ever. Can you feel your heart beat? People will probably think this is inspired by chav chicks!

Mr. Cameron: Very well. Are we done then?

Mr. Clegg: Shush, I'm busy creating iPad art.

Several days later - weeks, in fact:

Chancellor Merkel: Thank you very much for your heart beat, David. How very ironic of you. I absolutely hate it.

Mr. Cameron: We will never ever ever be defeaten. You stick to your cleveage, Angela.

Chancellor Merkel: Mister Cameron! If you were my husband, I would poison your tea!

Mr. Cameron: Lady Merkel, if you were my wife, I would drink that tea.

Chancellor Merkel to herself after Mr. Cameron had a heart attack and can't feel his heart beat: Oh well, what did I expect from the Brits? I guess Eurovision is all about irony anyways. I'll fix up this heart and fax it to Düsseldorf.

And yeah, you know the rest, heart beat it is. In case you wondered what we are trying to tell you by this rather long, dull dialogue (one often does when politicians are involved), the message is: This is one boring slogan made by the English, who should be able to do better. And yeah, please leave politics out of Eurovision.

Retro Sunday: Norway 1986

In a weekend of Norwegian finals, why not bring out one of our own heroes from the 80s?

O Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Well, we certainly don't know the answer to that, and we bet Ketil Stokkan didn't either when he entered the great Eurovision stage in his own home country back in 1986. But man, were we happy Ketil was Ketil, and not some Leonardo Di Caprio or anything. We still adore that fabulous pink jacket with rolled up sleeves to be adored by any hipster girl in Norway these days and the oh, so authentic hairdo. The Gods should know he will always become a Romeo in that.

Jumping after Bobbysocks wouldn't have been the easiest job on the planet, but Ketil found his own way of jumping. We still stand in line, bend our knees, lift our arm  and jump suprinsingly forward when this song is played. Luckily that's not so often, but it's worth looking back on every now and then.

Take a look, and also please notice the fabulous Great Garlic Girls, who were the first Eurovision participants in drag. And we all know how popular that became. Now, who said the Norwegians aren't trendsetters?



O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art. As glorious to this night, being o'er my head.

First MGP Semi-Final: The Aftermath

One down, three to go (including Sistesjansen), and so far we don't feel particularly shaken, nor stirred. Here's a few observations on what went down at Ørlandet last night!

Best Copycat
Carina Dahl surprised us with a rather strong live performance, she actually can sing. Well done! Afterwards she entertained us with cheeky comments. Shows this girl has potential, but she should consider coming up with something of her own style for next time around. Lose the Cheryl Cole act and try something else than copying Kesha's talk/singing which she in her turn stole from Uffie.

Cutest Doll
How old is Sichelle anyways? She says she's 22, but we're thinking more like 12. Perfect for JESC. She claims to be inspired by Aqua so we suppose that's why she decided to go for the Barbie Doll look. She really is adorable, but perhaps she should consider coming back in say ten years time?

Prettiest nerve-wreck
Is it just us, or did Helene Bøksle look extremely nervous last night? She did look stunning on stage, we loved her classy frock and the laser beams behind her, not to mention the kettledrums! She's one of the most experienced artists in the bunch, but perhaps the high expectations upfront brought her down. Shaky on the highest notes and moments of looking like a shit scared deer caught in the headlights. Better get your act straight before the big final Helene!

Biggest surprise
Could it really be that the voting public actually prefer talented, no nonsense, hardworking artists over fabricated, artificial wannabes? Yup, looks like it since Åste&Rikke apparently received by far most votes yesterday scoring a ticket to the final. We're still a bit "Meh" towards the song, but it was touching to watch how genuinely happy these two became when their names were called up last.

Most boring zombie
Wake up Anne Rimmen, you're on live TV!

Greatest disappointment
So how come this act did not proceed to the final? KoK featuring Alexander Rybak FTW!

Tonight's the night: First semi-final in Norway!

It's with somewhat mixed emotions we're now about to embark on the national final season. Don't get us wrong, this is something we have longed for since Lena hearted all the folks that voted for her on that glorious evening back in May. But the road leading to the 42 entries that will be presented in Düsseldorf seems to be paved with a neverending story of hopeful wannabes and godawful hasbeens. In order to preserve our sanity we have come to the realization that it's simply not possible to follow all the semi-finals, internet selections, pre-qualifying heats and what have you. It sort of makes sense to focus on the finals where at least the line-ups have been reduced to a manageable size and quantity.

We will however pay special attention to the semi-finals in Norway, and don't be surprised if we can't help ourselves sticking our opinionated noses into the odd semi-final heat in Melodifestivalen or Söngvakeppni Sjónvarpsins either.

Ok, nuff said on our part. Let's move on to our review of the first MGP semi-final heat ready to perform at Ørlandet tonight.

Big Brother babe and biker girl Carina Dahl kicks off the show with her upbeat number Guns & Boys and we really wish she wouldn't. The combination of trashy and talentless is not winning our hearts over and something is telling us (or should we rather say screaming at us) that she won't pull this off live. She might be able to save herself from total humiliation if she presents the song with tons of humor and an over the top extravagant show, there are at least enough metaphors in the lyrics which can result in some interesting choreography.

Next up is Use Me. We thought for a minute we were stuck in the mid 90s when listening to Daisy which is kinda ironic since these guys were all still in diapers back then. Nothing wrong with a bit of nostalgia, but we're sort of done with Buffalo shoes, bare bellies, twirly hairdo's and skirt over trousers combos, so we would prefer this reminder to stay in the semi.

And then there's Helene Bøksle. Makes us wonder why we even bother to go through with four semi-finals and a final in Norway this year since it's so obvious that she's the one to represent us in ESC 2011. A well connected bird whispered this into our ears during the Eurovision weeks in Oslo in May, and so far it seems like everything is leading up to the inevitable. Helene's song Vardlokk is not that bad. We like the darkness in it and that it is not some cheerful milkmaid yodeling. And we are after all suckers for the ethnic sound. It's sounds very much like Alvedansen, maybe too much, and that's not a good thing. So it should be interesting to see if this number can stand on it's own feet and if Helene manages to impersonate the strong and misterous huldra instead of the mild and innocent milkmaid. 

Sie Gubba represent the average joe, and believe us there's a lot of those around our beautiful godforsaken rural country. That's why we won't be surprised if Alt du vil ha is one of the entries that will score a ticket to the final. The song is crappy allright, but sadly people tend to like this kind of crap.

Gatas Parlament contrast Sie Gubba nicely with their urban rap number Jobbe litt mindre og tjene litt mer. They have already managed to create a great deal of controversy with their politically charged lyrics loaded with foul language (is it against the rules?). We like their attitude and appreciate the fact that they have obviously strained themselves to adjust to the Eurovsion format incorporating ethnic gypsy beats and a sing along chorus.

Sichelle seems to be a sweetheart and we applaud her for choosing to sing in Norwegian. And thank God the lyrics are in Norwegian cause Trenger mer sounds like it's written by a 10 year old. Perhaps this entry would have been a smash hit in JESC, but in ESC for grownups this is just embarrassing.

We really want to like the ladies Åste&Rikke. We know Åste from an Idol season a few years back and boy she sure can sing! But the song Not that easy (Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh) just isn't strong enough we think. What's up with the Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh's anyways, it will certainly win the prize for the lamest song title for what it's worth. No matter how talented and hardworking these girls might be, it just won't cut it.

We'll put our money on Helene tonight. Everything else would just be a waste of money, really.

Retro Sunday: France 1994

This has been one of these dull winter Sundays where we just want to curl up on the couch under a blanket with a nice cup of tea. But that's not exactly a kick ass way to start the new year is it? We need some French girl (or guy?) power in this week's Retro Sunday:



Oh those French, they really owned the Eurovision stage during the early 90s. We are amazed by how contemporary this number still sounds and looks, it could just as easily have been performed in Oslo last year. The energy and drive conveyed by Nina Morato puts us instantly in an exhilaratingly good mood and makes us want to take up kick-boxing or rugby as our new spare-time hobby. She kinda scares the shit out of us, walking around on stage like some crazy character from a Fatal Attraction-ish movie. Or perhaps with that top hat, something more surreal, like from some foreign film, as the Americans usually tend to refer to when they basically mean a French movie. We like!

Glorious!

Yesterday we watched the Norwegian Sports Gala 2010 where all the glorious sports heros from the Land of the Vikings and the Midnight Sun got their fair share of well deserved honor. Plenty of Olympic gold medalists and even a road cycling World Champion, the God of Thunder Thor Hushovd! And let's just be crystal clear, pre-written jokes awkwardly performed by dolled up athletes pulled out of their natural habitat makes up for plenty of embarrassing hide behind the pillow moments. We made new nominations for the Barbara Dex Award like every other minute.

But let's give the athletes a break, they were after all not the main reason why we watched the show. A major Eurovision alert went off at the GEE Head Quarter when we got the word that Haddy N’jie and Erik Solbakken would reappear as the hosting couple. Haddy looking as fab as ever and Erik cheesy and charming as usual. This year's MGP-hostess Anne Rimmen practiced her presenting skills on stage, apparently with welded-on hair imported from London. We like the sound of that, clearly a new Diva in the making.

And since Eurovision Diva Maria Haukaas Mittet has been nowhere to be seen for like the last five minutes it was about time she claimed back her rightful place in the limelight! Maria performed the official song for this year's Nordic Ski World Championship in Oslo. Our favorite Schlagerboys seemed to like it a lot!

But behold, Maria was not the only Eurovision Diva in the running to perform the World Championship song! It turns out Didrik had a go at it as well. Can we detect a change in media strategy for Didrik? It seems like he's been everywhere lately, and he's even funny, in his own cheesy way. Kudos Didrik, we never knew you had it in you!

And it is offcially confirmed, Alexander can dance!

What better to do on a Friday night than to tune in on the season premiere of the Swedish edition of Strictly Come Dancing? We don't usually watch that much Swedish TV, but we'll gladly give it a shot to watch our favorite fiddler swing his cute little tushy on the dancefloor. Can he charm his way into the uptight Swedes' hearts? After all they did award Norway with their douze points when he performed his fairytale in Moscow, so if he manages to show them some decent moves and bite his tongue before he blurts out too much stupid stuff afterwards he might have a fair chance!

And he can dance alright! Alexander convinced the judges with a dashing English Waltz, and by that finishing the first round on the top of the scoreboard. No one will be kicked out of the competition during the first show, but it certainly looks like our buddy is off to a good start.

The rest of the participants is pretty much a bunch of people we have never heard about before so we're obviously not that into the Swedish celebrity gossip columns, but we did detect a couple of good movers who might give Alexander a fair fight for the trophy. The actor Figge Norling and some kick ass rally racing chick named Tina Thörner (sic!) surprised us with being smooth and charming. Besides it also turns out that there's a domestic Schlager Queen in the line-up, Jessica Andersson, part of the duo Fame which scored a 5th place for Sweden in ESC back in 2003. This is btw the very same duo our legendary Norwegian ESC commentator Jostein Pedersen referred to as "equally charming as a Ivar bookshelf from IKEA". In our humble opinion it does at least look like Jessica has moved up a couple of steps on the furniture metaphor ladder. We'd say that she is now a reasonably comfy couch from Bolia.

Retro Sunday: Sweden 1993

Happy New Eurovision Year! After too many days of doing nothing except stuffing our faces with funny food and mulled wine, we almost forgot it's Sunday today! And Sunday means yet another blast from the past, a tradition we will keep on going in 2011. A Swedish "Dansband" from the 90s will have the honor of launching the new year on our blog, and we don't blame you for thinking we have gone completely bonkers:



Last year ended on a rather good note, when Romania chose their participant for ESC 2011. And when the real ESC season kicks off with national finals bonanza like every other day in February (Yay!) we will start posting our 2011 reviews.

Seconds after the Rumanian final had announced the winner (which btw lasted for like 3 days straight or something, you had to have a black belt in ESC to hang in there), the hardcore Eurovision fan community shortly concluded that this was a rip off of Arvingarna's Eloise. Well, we see their point. And in our book that's not exactly a good thing. So we'll let you see for yourself, and do give us a shout and let us know what you think!