Aus der reihe…

Now, there’s a substantial difference between the Eurovision Schlager and the good ol’ Deutche Schlager. The single most important difference to us is that we love the first one and detest the latter. In our opinion any German Schlager could be used as torture during interrogations (we’ll give this piece of advice away for free to the CIA), and we cannot for the Love of God understand why we should be bothered with this crap while we sip our glüwein in some glamorous ski resort in the Alps.

This makes us wary of what the German decides to bring to the table in ESC and in all honesty, let’s admit that there has been a lot of weird stuff going on over the years. They just seem so out of sync with the rest of us, and often there’s this “so last year” feeling about it, like last year (lol, pun unintended) when they showed up with Alex Swings Oscar Sings all the while Lou Bega did his thing with Mambo No 5 a decade earlier. We’re sorry to break it to you guys, but Dita did not tease us into unintentionally casting our televotes. And then there’s the language issue. We’re like “Wadde hadde dudde da?” Excuse me? "Man gewöhnt sich so schnell an das Schöne". Hello? It’s just a fact of life that these things sound better in Italian or French or even English for that sake.

Needless to say, our expectations are always at an absolute minimum when it comes to Germany and damn, it sure feels good to be taken so completely off guard. Lena Meyer-Landrut rocks! Who would have thought that Germany had such a cool, natural, quirky, charming, witty and adorable ace up their sleeve? Here’s the Nellie McKay of Hannover, the German Lilly Allen, so fresh and real. And yet, she’s not a copycat, she adds her unique style to the whole thing as she stumbles around the stage and introduces her very own British sounding accent. It just feels like the complete opposite of the fabricated, artificial and calculated Safura machinery that will roll all over us in not too long.

Yes, now we’re talking, Germany, you’re really on to something this year. But will Europe vote for you? We dunno, but you better do so, or else we’re afraid that an obsessive, 18 year old German school girl will hunt you down!

Let Balkan entertain you!

Finally - a group of people that will only make you gay. This is Balkan!

Balkan has a great Eurovision history of bringing the entertainment. From Serbia we've had greatness from Mako Kon last year and the quiet lesbo in 2007, who strangely enough also was kinda entertaining. Not bad for a country in it's fifth year of participation. And is there more yet to come!

You just have to smile from the first glance of lead singer Milan Stankovic.He just looks so strange and cool and sweet and beautiful and happy that we want him to be the most honored guest at every party from here to eternity. The music fits him perfectly. First you think it is a little bit too weird, too much of a circus, too much of a clash of styles. But then it stops and you just want to watch it all over again. And again. And again. In fact you are so hooked on it you just ask yourself how much alcohol was really in the milk you had for breakfast. Just add fantastic dancers that remind you of Rybak's Frikar, and happiness is fulfilled. Oh, what joy that someone puts on their national costumes and do the real show with rapping and singing and crazy dancing and Balkan orchestras and bending of the knees while looking as happy as Sesame Street Big Bird on speed. It only makes us gay in any sense of the word.

This is Balkan. And we love you, Balkan. We just do. Let's go all go to bed and stay there.

Can`t see the forest for the trees?

Congratulations Slovakia, this year you have nailed it! We had almost given up on the Slovaks, cause the four times they have managed to participate since 1994, they have given us nothing but rubbish. But with a dash of ethnic beats and a hint of traditional folk song elements, mixed with a couple of hotties on stage doing a rather peculiar dance routine, they’re suddenly on top of their game!

So, where do you go in Slovakia to see the most beautiful trees? Horehronie apparently. We have no idea what Kristina is singing about, but that’s the beauty of it, she sings in her own native language and we like it! The song does however lack a build up towards the end, it sort of just goes on and on while we wait for the non existing grand finale. Kristina looks good in her foresty outfit, but her singing is at best mediocre, she sounds very nervous. We have also grown a bit tired of the rope sequence, it has been done before, more than a couple of times. It looks cool when it’s done well, but it should be possible to come up with something new and refreshing.

For the time being we have a hard time seeing anything else but the trees in this entry. We think they really want us to see the whole forest, they’re just not quite there yet. But we have a strong feeling that Kristina and her crew will work hard to improve this number’s weaknesses. That’s why we predict that we will see Slovakia, complete with their full blown and fabulous forest, in the final for the first time in ages.

Hello sweetness!

Switzerland hasn't really given us much Eurovision history recently. That is, if you don't love the cheesy ballads Celine Dion and her kindred spirits deliver. Safe to say, we don't.
 

The very first Eurovision Song Contest was actually held in Switzerland in 1956, and they even won themselves. The winner was the very cute Lys Assia. Not really ESC like we know today, but such a lady of the 50s and such a romantic, lovely and dreamy song. It just makes you want to watch the sunset and sip cocktails with Don Draper. Lys Assia continued to be cute for a couple more years until other, more annoying women replaced her. Horrible entries from Annie Cotton and Vanilla Ninja have managed to grasp surprisingly good scores, and Celine Dion was a bit quirky and sweet, but still no good winner in 1988. Then DJ Bobo’s vampire flirt and Lovebugs’ rock disaster last year made us think the country had lost it completely.

That’s why we are so happy that Swiss cuteness again will enter Eurovision this year. Michael Von Der Heide is the male equivalent of Lys Assia, and his golden jacket and adoring ears really makes you wanna take him home for dessert. His energy, the song reminding you of Shagma and the fantastic Balalaika-player just adds to the menu. This is Eurovision like it should be. And it is welcome back to the chocolatiers of Europe.

The Motherland is calling

Armenia´s Eurovision history is short and sweet, the country has finished in the Top 10 every year since they first competed in 2006. Europe seems to love their etno inspired entries and who can blame us? We simply couldn't live without André´s love back in 2006 and the sweethearts Inga and Anush made us dance with joy last year!

This year´s entry is a dark horse which can easily turn into a big favourite. Beautiful Eva Rivas is calling upon the Diasporas around Europe, homesick Armenians will vote like maniacs! We love ”Apricot Stone” because Armenia is staying true to their own style, and for celebrating their roots even tough they are one of the youngest members of the Eurovision family.

Another Top 10 finish is well within reach.