Retro Sunday: Ireland 1980

We've been waiting. Such a long time. To mention Johnny Logan. But oh, whatta man he is. Or at least was. While everyone seems to be hooked on him wanting to hold them, we'd like to draw attention to his later grandeur as heartbroken hippie.



In 1980 Johnny, king of pathos, was a sad boy with an intense need of self destruction. He could just wait and wait because he'd waited so long and was so lonely already that nothing mattered anymore. Really, nothing. But we have to say, we can't even begin to understand how his beloved kept away from this piece of eyecandy. The fabulous black and white suit is super classy as it blends in with the amazing art deco stage of Hague. And the hair! We love it more than Michael Kelso and young Paul McCartney combined! Add a super sexy dark clad sax player in the back there, and you get why people keep watching this (we choose not to comment on the choir chicks, you can see it as a political statement).

Won't you just look at the despair in Johnny's eyes as he tells us how he's lost everything. Well, he kind of has now, but he was a winner once. The best winner of them all.

(We've included the video with introduction for you, so you can see the lovely photo of Johnny at the pub in the right corner there and more of the cool stage backdrop. How very classy Eurovision was back then).

Barbara Dex Award; Latvia and Ireland

A far more deserving winner of the Barbara Dex Award would have been Aisha from Latvia. We are not exactly sure what happened here, but here's a few plausible scenarios. She simply forgot to change into her actual dress before she entered the stage. There just must be an explanation to why she unintentionally appeared in front of 130 million TV viewers dressed in a bathrobe.

After an even closer look we start to wonder if one of the hotel rooms at Oslo Plaza is missing a bedspread or perhaps a curtain. In that case she sort of takes raiding hotel rooms for "free" stuff to another level. We usually settle for shampoos, slippers and shower caps. And no, we don't wear the slippers and a shower cap while making an important presentation at work.

Before the performance in Oslo Aisha announced that there would be changes on stage from the national final. While we could hardly wait to see how they could manage to top the doing the laundry sequence it just turned out that Aisha would wear the fabric her backing singers worked so hard to clean while keeping up with the chorus. Disappointment from here to eternity.

"What for am I dressed like this?"

Guri considered to go Latvian on the big final night, but thank Gawd, she went for a proper dress instead.

Well, here's a lady who perhaps should consider taking fashion tips from Latvia. This snap shot is taken backstage before one of the dress rehearsals, and Niamh from Ireland looks all peachy and glamourous. She actually has a waist!








Instead she shows up on stage wearing this. We are lost for words. Almost. Or not really, here it goes. It looks awful!!! We read somewhere that she looked like a Cadbury cream egg ready to burst. And that it looked like she ate Ireland, rather than represented Ireland. That's just so cruel. But funny. And seriously, she is not that big, it's just the dress, it's so utterly unflattering. Just look at Hera Björk from Iceland. Far more junk in the trunk there, but she looked absolutely fab in her high waisted diva frock. Where is Trinny and Susannah when you really need them? This is a real fashion emergency!

Misplaced waistline missing. Last seen sometime during the mid 90's.

Semi-Final 2

All righty then, it's time to reveal our pick for the second semi-final!

• Armenia
• Azerbaijan
• Cyprus
• Georgia
• Ireland
• Israel
• Lithuania
• Romania
• Sweden
• Switzerland

This list might be as far off as it gets when comparing it with the final list Thursday night. Like, there's not much hope for Europe to ignore Turkey with their polished, family friendly rock show, is there? And don't get us started on those pretentious Danes. Croatia has more than a fair chance with the lovely femidoms, and Bulgarian Miro is so kitchy we're almost starting to like him.

And Sieneke! She scares the shit out of us...

Woha, this will be so exciting, we can hardly wait!

And you guys, beg to differ anyone?

Please, take it back

Ireland’s achievements in this competition is beyond compare. No country is even close to matching their seven victories, including three consecutive victories in the 90’s, and numerous podium finishes since their debut in 1965. But since the turn of the millennium it has gone downhill with the Irish, and they literally hit rock bottom when finishing last in the final in 2007, followed by Dustin the Turkey the year after. Eire had officially lost it completely.

Can Irish ESC greatness ever be restored? Or will they forever be out conquered by Eastern European block voting? Well, instead of trying to come up with something new and make a real effort to adjust to the contemporary format of the competition, they dig up their old recipe for success from the 90’s. Bad idea. Niamh Kavanagh is in our opinion one of the worst winners in history. The winner from 1993 represents the tastelessness of that decade which makes us cringe and wish it never actually happened. What on earth were we thinking back then? OK, at least it gives us a good laugh.

Niamh’s 2010 entry is however not a laughing matter, it just makes us sad. The song is boring and completely outdated and her outfit is absolutely ghastly. If she keeps this dress in Oslo, she will at least win one award, The Barbara Dex Award, which ironically enough was established the same year as Niamh won in Millstreet.

So Niamh, thank you for giving this song to us. We know you mean it well. But please, take it back. And return to the 90´s where you belong.