GEE to the rescue!

Norway is rapidly approaching a national crisis as someone actually stole the MGP stage a couple of minutes ago. GEE will of course help, but first we have to say: Wow, that is one huge effort stealing an entire stage. Kudos to you, robbers. Second we would like to scream: Shame on you, bad boy! And then last, but not least: We know the police won't have time for solving this, because they don't have time for anything but complaining about the lack of time and money in this country. That's why it's so fortunate that you are in posession of two crime solving GEE chicks on speed dial in this neighbourhood of Europe.

As for now we have figured out a couple of solutions for you:

1. Namsos stole it. They are after all the one and only Rock City in this country. And stealing a stage to be able to host the last MGP semifinal is a very rocknrollish way of doing things. Kudos if that's the solution, we'd say, and we already booked Widerøe and Namdalsavisa for you, Per.
2. Armenia stole it. We did after all tell them we'd like them to do our country finals as well, since they are actually capable of making good Eurovision songs. And you know how badly half jokes translate.
3. Alexander Stenerud took it home. He suddenly remembered he is the only one in this country who totally owns the MGP stage. So why would anyone else drag it around?

Oh, well, those are the theories we are working on for now. But there could be more to this, and please give any clues you might have to the GEE hotline.

And stay tuned for the next episode of GEE and the mystery of the disappearing stage.

Retro Sunday: Latvia 2005

Reality struck harsh earlier this week when we received the sad news that Latvian singer/songwriter Mārtiņš Freimanis died at only 33 due to serious complications caused by an influenza infection. This week's Retro Sunday is dedicated to him and goes out to all the people who mourn the loss of this talented young man:



We have previously listed this song as one of our favorite entries of all times. It is such a gem in all its simplicity and even though perhaps not as well performed as it could be, the quality of the song carry Walters & Kazha over troubled vocal water and what they may lack in skills they make up for with bundles of charm and heartfelt joy over being up on that stage in Kiev.

Thank you Mārtiņš Freimanis for giving us this song. RIP.

Our condolences to the Dutch

The Dutch will select their entry for Düsseldorf tonight, which are to be performed by the boyband, or should we rather say manband, 3js. What's up with all these manbands anyways, we're starting to fear that Düsseldorf will end up as male thirty something clinging to their youth convention.

Like Blue in the UK, 3js was selected internally by the national broadcaster TROS, however the Dutch public will partly be allowed to have their say, as five songs have been singled out through some sort of reality-show or docu-soap, if we are not completely mistaken.

We have a really hard time understanding the Dutch and their taste in music. Having visited this otherwise lovely country at several occasions we have been constantly reminded of this fact when trying to find a decent bar or pub to hang out without having our ears raped with god-awful oontz-oontz beats or some horrific ompa-ompa yodeling. We mean, WTF is up with that? Get a grip and welcome to 2011, Stroopwafels!

Unfortunately this doesn't seem to happen anytime soon, at least not on the ESC scene. After listening to snippets of the five selected songs for tonight's final our ears hurt like hell and we kinda hope that the Dutch will come to their senses and just cancel this year's participation and stay at home. Because newsflash, none of these songs seem to have a snowball's chance in hell of ever making it past the semi-final.

Do you think we're being to harsh on the poor buggers? Well, have a listen yourself and you tell us:

Out of the Blue

Last night BBC announced that the boyband Blue will represent UK in Düsseldorf with the song "I can". We are trying to figure out whether it can be considered an admission of failure that the power to choose the entry has been taken out of the hands of the Brits. Are the British voters to blame for the last years miserable failures or should BBC blame themselves for failing to mould a successful format for the national selection process, only to put the voters between a rock and a hard place forcing them to select rubbish songs year after year?

We recall Norwegian broadcaster NRK pulling a similar stunt back in 1991. The group Just 4 Fun was internally selected and they crashed and burned performing the dreadful song Mrs. Thompson in Rome. The Norwegian audience was not happy and NRK never dared to cancel the national final ever again.

Taking a closer look at the chosen act Blue, we can't help but wonder if the BBC are trying to win the 2001 edition of Eurovision Song Contest. Perhaps the once successful boyband still enjoys a certain standing and popularity domestically in the UK, however to us their name reeks of long lost fame and faded greatness. Still, the same could be said about A1 and they nearly ended up representing Norway on home turf last year. We could have easily settled for the boyband gone manband over the flop we ended up with. Last year's Norwegian entry proved beyond doubt that that the televoters are not always in the position of making an informed and sane decision. When the bulk of the voters consists of screaming teenage girls and middleaged moms you sometimes end up with the strangest stuff.

We look forward to hearing the chosen song and we promise to keep an open mind hoping to be pleasantly surprised. We dread a dated R&B ballad, though. Cause it would be an awful shame for the UK to end up as the Lanterne Rouge again, wouldn't it...

All rise for the return of the UK on top of the scoreboard

Third time's a charm? MGP semi-final in Skien tonight!

Oh well, we finally managed to dig us back up from that hole we fell into after last Saturday's travesty in Florø. And it's picking up. We could actually listen to most of the songs in tonight's line-up, without getting the urge of throwing the MacBook out the window even once, which is not bad at all.

Susperia is this year's rock alibi, and it makes sense for Norway to send an act like this to the international ESC final. Much more than salsa/latino rhythms or balkan beats which just appears as a phony way of getting votes from countries which would not normally vote for Norway. That's just embarrassing and it ain't working either. But Nothing Remains is the kinda song that folks would vote for regardless of nationality. It's a strong melody with powerful vocals and it feels real. We didn't care much for Turkey's polished family rock last year, nor the Finnish orks or the Norwegian glam rockers from a few years back for that sake, but this is something else. As GEE rock chicks we can definitely see ourselves having a beer with these blokes in a dodgy basement kneipe in Düsseldorf in a few months. Hell yeah!

Next up is Nora Noor and she is one cool, funky soul sister, that's for sure. Teamed up with one of our favorite song writers, Simone Larsen, it's off to an extremely positive start before we've even heard the first cord. Gone With The Wind has a rather cheesy title we must say, but Nora seems to pull it off, this is groove, feel and flow to the rim. We are much in favor of her soulful, sexy, credible performance over let's say Åste&Rikke from the first semi-final who operate in the same musical landscape. Looking forward to watching the live performance and we hope Nora doesn't go all overboard with the vocal improvisations. Sometimes less is more, baby.

There's been much talk about the group Girl Happy this week. Supposedly they are the Alexander Stenerud replacements this year. And if that's a fact we might as well coin them as the poor man's Alexander Stenerud straight away. We're sorry guys, thanks for trying, but there's no way you can live up to our MGP God.

We wish we could have said something clever and funny about the next soul chick coming up, but unfortunately we fell asleep about three seconds into Grethe Svendsen's Like Dreamers Do.

The BlackSheeps should wake us up quite quickly, and this is one of the acts we had highest hopes to right from the moment the participants were announced. However, we must admit we're disappointed. How much can one expect from a bunch of youngsters half our age, we guess we ought to cut them some slack, they have the future ahead of them. We would be happy to welcome them back at a later stage, with a stronger song than this year's Dance Tonight which is nowhere near the same league as the smashing JMGP Nordic winner "Oro Jaska Beana".

Stella Mwangi got us back on our feet alright, and got our groove back in a flash. Just having a corny song title such as Haba Haba is basically sufficient to keep us on our toes and wonder WTF this is all about. We can't stop thinking about France from 1990 and Guadeloupean Joëlle and her Caribbean oil barrel drums. Of course she had the svengali and French legend Serge Gainsbourg behind her, so it would be a shame to compare the two. But this is a happy go lucky song in the "Guilty Pleasure" department, and it can't be ignored. The Hakuna Matata vibes are about as subtle as a kick in the teeth and that's just too much to our taste.

The award to best dressed act, it there had been such a thing, would probably go to The Lucky Bullets. We love their sharply dressed Don Draper look, which is more than enough to set Fire Below. They're keeping it real musically also, no compromises, just honest straight forward rockabilly. We think that's cool, but in MGP, no thank you, we're afraid.



Finally some decent competition for Helene Bøksle. During the couple of last years the MGP winner came out of the semi-final in Skien. We're guessing that would probably happen this year as well. Third time's the charm and so on and so forth...

Retro Sunday: Norway 2010

This week's Retro flashback sort of just came to us when contemplating the ridiculously poor quality of last night's MGP semi-final:



It just dawned on us when watching Alexander doing a medley of his previous three MGP entries during the interval act that it can't get any better than this. It puts all this year's participants in an extremely awkward position cause it is so utterly revealing when you compare the quality. Alexander totally owned the stage setting pretty much every panty in Norway on fire. Why on God's green earth could he not win last year with this sublime Eurovision schlager anthem is completely beyond us. And mind you, we did actually vote for Alexander, so we are not to blame.

So here we are, giving it to you, this is what you missed seeing in Telenor Arena last year. If only just...

MGP, second semi final: Live blog

20:00: There's Anne? Or is it? Love the dress, absolutely hate the hair. She looks like...erm, can't really figure out what she looks like.
20.02: Look, there's Ovi! Good stuff!
20:03: Per Sundnes blabbering away.
20:04: We just can't believe Ovi wrote that garbage song.
20:06: Man, that bloke is on steroids.
20:07: Oh, but do we love Pernille's dress! And the song is a little better allthough lyrics still hurt.
20.08: We take that back as Pernille just turned into a cheerleader. And WHAT's up with that gang in the background?
20:09: Jeez, Anne Rimmen, you are one boring chick for looking so good.
20.10: When did Per turn into a ranger? A gay man should know how to look a little bit better when chatting up four swell blokes like that.
20:12: What's up with standing inside a house? We're still not loving this. Gawd, please make 'em stop.
20.13: You are not dependable, man. Really aren't. Cut your hair.
20.15: Finally Marika. But man, that dog is annoying.
20:17: Oooh, love the hat and the skirt. Really feel sorry for the man stuck inside a picture frame, though. 20:20: Quele quele opa, man. This is all of Eurovision captured in one song. Just like it should be. Go girl!
20:20: Oh no, 2 Unlimited again.
20:21: Christians coming through. We're happy Isabella do not aim for the new Bjørn Eidsvåg position. One is more than enough.
20:24: That is one horrible outfit. Suits the song.
20:25: OMG, FORGET about that sand, will you?
20:27: Anne Rimmen still giving us very shocking information: We have now listened to four songs.
20:29: WHO cut Endre's hair? Please fire that hairdresser.
20:31: Take your jacket off, man. You're inside.
20:31: Please tell us we do not have four aerobic people in the background there
20:32: Still enjoying this. Kinda embarassing. And feeling a little cougarish.
20:34: Thank you Justin Bieber, see you in Spectrum.
20:35: Not looking forward to this. Hanne is so lovely, but the song really isn't
20:36: Omg, that lovely, lovely dress. Please don't start singing. Please, please, please....
20:37: Is this Anna Bergendal's mother? The catastrophy is inevitable. Now we just wait for it to end.
20:39: We're sure we can get you into p4, now stop.
20:42: Is MGP still on or did we accidentally switch to Top Model?
20:43: Baby, you are not all right. Nough said.
20:45: WHEN is this over?
20:46: We keep wondering if Anne's hair is exported back to London. What happened there?
20: 47: Finished allready? But we haven't heared anything we love yet. How is that possible?
20:49: We can't understand who will win this. But as long as it's not Isabella, we'll survive.
20:49: Ready for Alexander Stenerud now. Our hearts start beating really fast. What number do we use for voting for him?
20:50: And omg, there's Sigrid. She's lovely. But can she really find a man in Florø? We think not.
20:51: Omg, there's men in speedos!
20:52: Even firemen looks bad in Florø. Get out of there!
20:56: Look at us, Alexander! Over here! You know our heart is yours!  But you forgot to button your shirt, man.
20:57: Always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always we love you.
20:57: Oh, no. Cougar senior coming through.
20:59: Jeez, grandma Guri is one horrible chick. Get away from  Alexander!
20:59: Give it to us, baby!
21:02: Oh no, we're not rid of Mimi Blix yet.
21:03: One more chance for Endre. Yay.
21:04: Get out of here! Who put Hanne in the final? WHY do we have to hear this one more time?
21:05: She's cute and all, but the song, people? The song? Isn't that important at all?
21:06: Oh, the horror, the horror!
21:08: Now we're kinda happy Per Sundnes decided Helene Bøksle will win this year. Because that means this one won't.
21:09: Starting to worry the Babelfishes will win
21:10: And they did. This is horrible!
21:11: FML, FML, FML, FML, FML, FML. Telly goes OFF. Good night.

Second MGP semi-final coming up

All right, then. Another Norwegian semi-final coming up and time for us to get judgmental. Today we've been such organized bitches and listened to all the song in the right order. Not so much good stuff going on, but a little. Here are the votes of the GEE jury:

Pernille og Marius: I'll Be Yours
Let's just be perfectly clear: If you are, say, a Eurovision artist and want to be loved by GEE bloggers, there's a couple of factors that automatically will disqualify. Probably the safest route to that little space of horror and forgotten wannabes would be the use of sentences like "every time you're around" and "when I'm with you, I feel the rush" and "I wanna be your love" and "From head to my toes, I wanna be yours". In fact we’d even send people who can make themselves utter "I'll be yours forever more" out of the country, the planet and this solar system in general. The song has got plenty of annoying drum machines and other stuff for us to trash, but we just can’t get past the lyrics. Sorry, peepz.

Babel Fish: Depend on me
Babel Fish is back. But the only translation we get is that of adapting Boyzone to a new century. Now that’s something we do not need. Still quite charming old lads, this, and we actually enjoyed the song for the first quarter of a second. Not bad for such a dire tune. It’s not off the beaten track, it’s right in the middle, and that’s not where we enjoy spending our time. On that you can depend. Traduttore, traditore.

Marika: Hungry for you
You know trends tend to arrive late in our country. But finally some gypsy chick came calling even here. And yay to that. Because we absolutely love Marika’s Hungry for you. Could be due to the fact that she continued a striking combination of the Opa! and Milan Stankovic into 2011, but at least she does it in her own way. We can’t wait for this to enter the stage of Florø. Because we’re sure she can dance and at least her utterance “If you wanna be with me, you’ve got to drink with me” is the ultimate bull's eye. We can even forgive the woman for the 2 Unlimited ending. We’re hungry for more.

Isabella: Sand
Oh no, someone remembered 4 Non Blondes and turned them into one blonde. Not working, people. After all, there was a reason for the NON blondes. This is one of those songs that try a little bit of everything along the way. Midway you find yourself asking “Is this still the same song? Is it good? What is it like, exactly? Isn’t it way too long? What the hell is going on? Did I miss something?” Well, don’t worry, our friend. We can tell you this one is better off missed. Time to pee. But one thing is for sure: Isabella will write your name down in sand. Good night and good luck with that, hon.

Endre: Oh, oh puppy love
Oh no, puppy love. We’d hate this song just for the title. Problem is we don’t. How is that even possible? Don’t even think it’s due to those teasing eyes of Endre, because we haven’t had time to study them. Maybe we just think he deserves to be in love. And we do digg those rhytms. This is simple, straightforward entertainment, thus easy to like. Even though we know we shouldn’t.

Hanne Sørvaag: You’re like a melody
Hanne Sørvaag is one of our fav Norwegian Eurovision sweethearts. That’s why we hate ourselves a little bit for hating this. Well maybe not hating, it’s way too futile and anonymous for that. This is not like our favorite song at all. It’s like any other melody. And for that she deserves to be punished. Even though she can sing.

Mimi Blix: Allergic
Oh, honey. You really are one beautiful chick with a funny name. And we can’t even believe the news telling us you never had a boyfriend. That’s why we’d love to party with you in Germany. But the song, baby, the song. Here’s a piece of advice for you: Quit music. Stick to your drumsticks. And keep posing. But no sound, please. No sound.



So, what is our overall opinion, exactly? Have to say, this is not the best of semi-finals. And our hopes are not that high for the MGP-final in general after listening our way through two semi-finals. But dearest Marika, we do thank you. You will make tonight's hour of television worthwile. And we will keep our SMS skills ready. See you in Spectrum, hon!

No logo

So, here's what we picture happened when Germany made a UK office draw them a logo for Eurovision, and UK handed over this:

The participants:
Mr. Cameron - a gentleman striving to keep it up as a prime minister with absolutely no love for Eurovision, but with very strong competitive skills.
Mr. Clegg - yet another gentleman striving to keep his buddy David up to date on important European matters such as...say, Eurovision.  
Chancellor Merkel - a woman striving to avoid the subject of Eurovision by passing on as much of the dirty work as possible to her not so close friends in UK.

We approach Mr. Cameron and Mr. Clegg as they are doing their daily 9 to 5 work at the office:


Mr Cameron: Did you see this quite formal letter from the Germans asking us to design a logo? How very extraordinary!

Mr Clegg: Why certainly, David. What are we to make of this? Could it be some sort of joke? I mean it's not like we are close allies or anything.

Mr Cameron: Yes, that is a quite appropriate question, Nick. But I do not know the Germans as great humorists. Allthough Chancellor Angela did at one point laugh at my excuisite joke about Icelandic banks.

Mr Clegg: Oh no, not that joke again, please. But if this is not a joke, then perhaps it could be a gesture of pity? You know, since we really suck at Eurovision, mind the language, and they didn't this year?

Mr. Cameron: My, Nick! Is that true?

Mr. Clegg: Yes, David. You know very well that dark little German satellitegirl with that way too red lipstick won this year. We watched it in Downing Street, remember? We were so happy to finally be using all that hi tech surveillance equipment for something important. I know you don't love Eurovision as much as me, but you gotta know this great moment in time!

Mr. Cameron: All right, all right, I do remember. You mean that pale girl? Judging by the accent I thought she was some sort of a Chav from one of those poor British suburbs I never visited. If not, then where were the British? Didn't they share the moment?

Mr. Clegg: That is a matter best left unmentioned, I'm afraid.


Mr. Cameron: Do the Germans really believe they can defeat us? That is a national scandal! We may only have blood, sweaty teenagers, soiled songwriters and tears, but we shall not flag or fail, we shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Düsseldorf, we shall fight on the stages and on television, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the semi finals...

Mr. Clegg: We don't actually have to be in...

Mr. Cameron: ...we shall defend our music whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in the final. We may have lost A1 to Norway, and weird Chavs to Germany, but we shall never surrender.

Mr Clegg: Very well then, David. We do not recognize the meaning of the word defeat. I suggest we give the Germans the worst piece of crap we are able to make. How about we make it ourselves, even? I have a drawing tool on my iPad right here. That oughta send them a message.

Mr. Cameron: I am ready. We need a method and an object. Economics are the method; the object is to change the heart and soul.

Mr. Clegg:  Yes, minister, heart! That is an excellent idea! I actually know how to draw a heart! Pass me the gin, I am creative now. This will be the best joke ever. Can you feel your heart beat? People will probably think this is inspired by chav chicks!

Mr. Cameron: Very well. Are we done then?

Mr. Clegg: Shush, I'm busy creating iPad art.

Several days later - weeks, in fact:

Chancellor Merkel: Thank you very much for your heart beat, David. How very ironic of you. I absolutely hate it.

Mr. Cameron: We will never ever ever be defeaten. You stick to your cleveage, Angela.

Chancellor Merkel: Mister Cameron! If you were my husband, I would poison your tea!

Mr. Cameron: Lady Merkel, if you were my wife, I would drink that tea.

Chancellor Merkel to herself after Mr. Cameron had a heart attack and can't feel his heart beat: Oh well, what did I expect from the Brits? I guess Eurovision is all about irony anyways. I'll fix up this heart and fax it to Düsseldorf.

And yeah, you know the rest, heart beat it is. In case you wondered what we are trying to tell you by this rather long, dull dialogue (one often does when politicians are involved), the message is: This is one boring slogan made by the English, who should be able to do better. And yeah, please leave politics out of Eurovision.

Retro Sunday: Norway 1986

In a weekend of Norwegian finals, why not bring out one of our own heroes from the 80s?

O Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Well, we certainly don't know the answer to that, and we bet Ketil Stokkan didn't either when he entered the great Eurovision stage in his own home country back in 1986. But man, were we happy Ketil was Ketil, and not some Leonardo Di Caprio or anything. We still adore that fabulous pink jacket with rolled up sleeves to be adored by any hipster girl in Norway these days and the oh, so authentic hairdo. The Gods should know he will always become a Romeo in that.

Jumping after Bobbysocks wouldn't have been the easiest job on the planet, but Ketil found his own way of jumping. We still stand in line, bend our knees, lift our arm  and jump suprinsingly forward when this song is played. Luckily that's not so often, but it's worth looking back on every now and then.

Take a look, and also please notice the fabulous Great Garlic Girls, who were the first Eurovision participants in drag. And we all know how popular that became. Now, who said the Norwegians aren't trendsetters?



O, speak again, bright angel, for thou art. As glorious to this night, being o'er my head.

First MGP Semi-Final: The Aftermath

One down, three to go (including Sistesjansen), and so far we don't feel particularly shaken, nor stirred. Here's a few observations on what went down at Ørlandet last night!

Best Copycat
Carina Dahl surprised us with a rather strong live performance, she actually can sing. Well done! Afterwards she entertained us with cheeky comments. Shows this girl has potential, but she should consider coming up with something of her own style for next time around. Lose the Cheryl Cole act and try something else than copying Kesha's talk/singing which she in her turn stole from Uffie.

Cutest Doll
How old is Sichelle anyways? She says she's 22, but we're thinking more like 12. Perfect for JESC. She claims to be inspired by Aqua so we suppose that's why she decided to go for the Barbie Doll look. She really is adorable, but perhaps she should consider coming back in say ten years time?

Prettiest nerve-wreck
Is it just us, or did Helene Bøksle look extremely nervous last night? She did look stunning on stage, we loved her classy frock and the laser beams behind her, not to mention the kettledrums! She's one of the most experienced artists in the bunch, but perhaps the high expectations upfront brought her down. Shaky on the highest notes and moments of looking like a shit scared deer caught in the headlights. Better get your act straight before the big final Helene!

Biggest surprise
Could it really be that the voting public actually prefer talented, no nonsense, hardworking artists over fabricated, artificial wannabes? Yup, looks like it since Åste&Rikke apparently received by far most votes yesterday scoring a ticket to the final. We're still a bit "Meh" towards the song, but it was touching to watch how genuinely happy these two became when their names were called up last.

Most boring zombie
Wake up Anne Rimmen, you're on live TV!

Greatest disappointment
So how come this act did not proceed to the final? KoK featuring Alexander Rybak FTW!

Tonight's the night: First semi-final in Norway!

It's with somewhat mixed emotions we're now about to embark on the national final season. Don't get us wrong, this is something we have longed for since Lena hearted all the folks that voted for her on that glorious evening back in May. But the road leading to the 42 entries that will be presented in Düsseldorf seems to be paved with a neverending story of hopeful wannabes and godawful hasbeens. In order to preserve our sanity we have come to the realization that it's simply not possible to follow all the semi-finals, internet selections, pre-qualifying heats and what have you. It sort of makes sense to focus on the finals where at least the line-ups have been reduced to a manageable size and quantity.

We will however pay special attention to the semi-finals in Norway, and don't be surprised if we can't help ourselves sticking our opinionated noses into the odd semi-final heat in Melodifestivalen or Söngvakeppni Sjónvarpsins either.

Ok, nuff said on our part. Let's move on to our review of the first MGP semi-final heat ready to perform at Ørlandet tonight.

Big Brother babe and biker girl Carina Dahl kicks off the show with her upbeat number Guns & Boys and we really wish she wouldn't. The combination of trashy and talentless is not winning our hearts over and something is telling us (or should we rather say screaming at us) that she won't pull this off live. She might be able to save herself from total humiliation if she presents the song with tons of humor and an over the top extravagant show, there are at least enough metaphors in the lyrics which can result in some interesting choreography.

Next up is Use Me. We thought for a minute we were stuck in the mid 90s when listening to Daisy which is kinda ironic since these guys were all still in diapers back then. Nothing wrong with a bit of nostalgia, but we're sort of done with Buffalo shoes, bare bellies, twirly hairdo's and skirt over trousers combos, so we would prefer this reminder to stay in the semi.

And then there's Helene Bøksle. Makes us wonder why we even bother to go through with four semi-finals and a final in Norway this year since it's so obvious that she's the one to represent us in ESC 2011. A well connected bird whispered this into our ears during the Eurovision weeks in Oslo in May, and so far it seems like everything is leading up to the inevitable. Helene's song Vardlokk is not that bad. We like the darkness in it and that it is not some cheerful milkmaid yodeling. And we are after all suckers for the ethnic sound. It's sounds very much like Alvedansen, maybe too much, and that's not a good thing. So it should be interesting to see if this number can stand on it's own feet and if Helene manages to impersonate the strong and misterous huldra instead of the mild and innocent milkmaid. 

Sie Gubba represent the average joe, and believe us there's a lot of those around our beautiful godforsaken rural country. That's why we won't be surprised if Alt du vil ha is one of the entries that will score a ticket to the final. The song is crappy allright, but sadly people tend to like this kind of crap.

Gatas Parlament contrast Sie Gubba nicely with their urban rap number Jobbe litt mindre og tjene litt mer. They have already managed to create a great deal of controversy with their politically charged lyrics loaded with foul language (is it against the rules?). We like their attitude and appreciate the fact that they have obviously strained themselves to adjust to the Eurovsion format incorporating ethnic gypsy beats and a sing along chorus.

Sichelle seems to be a sweetheart and we applaud her for choosing to sing in Norwegian. And thank God the lyrics are in Norwegian cause Trenger mer sounds like it's written by a 10 year old. Perhaps this entry would have been a smash hit in JESC, but in ESC for grownups this is just embarrassing.

We really want to like the ladies Åste&Rikke. We know Åste from an Idol season a few years back and boy she sure can sing! But the song Not that easy (Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh) just isn't strong enough we think. What's up with the Ah-Åh- Ah-Åh's anyways, it will certainly win the prize for the lamest song title for what it's worth. No matter how talented and hardworking these girls might be, it just won't cut it.

We'll put our money on Helene tonight. Everything else would just be a waste of money, really.

Retro Sunday: France 1994

This has been one of these dull winter Sundays where we just want to curl up on the couch under a blanket with a nice cup of tea. But that's not exactly a kick ass way to start the new year is it? We need some French girl (or guy?) power in this week's Retro Sunday:



Oh those French, they really owned the Eurovision stage during the early 90s. We are amazed by how contemporary this number still sounds and looks, it could just as easily have been performed in Oslo last year. The energy and drive conveyed by Nina Morato puts us instantly in an exhilaratingly good mood and makes us want to take up kick-boxing or rugby as our new spare-time hobby. She kinda scares the shit out of us, walking around on stage like some crazy character from a Fatal Attraction-ish movie. Or perhaps with that top hat, something more surreal, like from some foreign film, as the Americans usually tend to refer to when they basically mean a French movie. We like!

Glorious!

Yesterday we watched the Norwegian Sports Gala 2010 where all the glorious sports heros from the Land of the Vikings and the Midnight Sun got their fair share of well deserved honor. Plenty of Olympic gold medalists and even a road cycling World Champion, the God of Thunder Thor Hushovd! And let's just be crystal clear, pre-written jokes awkwardly performed by dolled up athletes pulled out of their natural habitat makes up for plenty of embarrassing hide behind the pillow moments. We made new nominations for the Barbara Dex Award like every other minute.

But let's give the athletes a break, they were after all not the main reason why we watched the show. A major Eurovision alert went off at the GEE Head Quarter when we got the word that Haddy N’jie and Erik Solbakken would reappear as the hosting couple. Haddy looking as fab as ever and Erik cheesy and charming as usual. This year's MGP-hostess Anne Rimmen practiced her presenting skills on stage, apparently with welded-on hair imported from London. We like the sound of that, clearly a new Diva in the making.

And since Eurovision Diva Maria Haukaas Mittet has been nowhere to be seen for like the last five minutes it was about time she claimed back her rightful place in the limelight! Maria performed the official song for this year's Nordic Ski World Championship in Oslo. Our favorite Schlagerboys seemed to like it a lot!

But behold, Maria was not the only Eurovision Diva in the running to perform the World Championship song! It turns out Didrik had a go at it as well. Can we detect a change in media strategy for Didrik? It seems like he's been everywhere lately, and he's even funny, in his own cheesy way. Kudos Didrik, we never knew you had it in you!

And it is offcially confirmed, Alexander can dance!

What better to do on a Friday night than to tune in on the season premiere of the Swedish edition of Strictly Come Dancing? We don't usually watch that much Swedish TV, but we'll gladly give it a shot to watch our favorite fiddler swing his cute little tushy on the dancefloor. Can he charm his way into the uptight Swedes' hearts? After all they did award Norway with their douze points when he performed his fairytale in Moscow, so if he manages to show them some decent moves and bite his tongue before he blurts out too much stupid stuff afterwards he might have a fair chance!

And he can dance alright! Alexander convinced the judges with a dashing English Waltz, and by that finishing the first round on the top of the scoreboard. No one will be kicked out of the competition during the first show, but it certainly looks like our buddy is off to a good start.

The rest of the participants is pretty much a bunch of people we have never heard about before so we're obviously not that into the Swedish celebrity gossip columns, but we did detect a couple of good movers who might give Alexander a fair fight for the trophy. The actor Figge Norling and some kick ass rally racing chick named Tina Thörner (sic!) surprised us with being smooth and charming. Besides it also turns out that there's a domestic Schlager Queen in the line-up, Jessica Andersson, part of the duo Fame which scored a 5th place for Sweden in ESC back in 2003. This is btw the very same duo our legendary Norwegian ESC commentator Jostein Pedersen referred to as "equally charming as a Ivar bookshelf from IKEA". In our humble opinion it does at least look like Jessica has moved up a couple of steps on the furniture metaphor ladder. We'd say that she is now a reasonably comfy couch from Bolia.

Retro Sunday: Sweden 1993

Happy New Eurovision Year! After too many days of doing nothing except stuffing our faces with funny food and mulled wine, we almost forgot it's Sunday today! And Sunday means yet another blast from the past, a tradition we will keep on going in 2011. A Swedish "Dansband" from the 90s will have the honor of launching the new year on our blog, and we don't blame you for thinking we have gone completely bonkers:



Last year ended on a rather good note, when Romania chose their participant for ESC 2011. And when the real ESC season kicks off with national finals bonanza like every other day in February (Yay!) we will start posting our 2011 reviews.

Seconds after the Rumanian final had announced the winner (which btw lasted for like 3 days straight or something, you had to have a black belt in ESC to hang in there), the hardcore Eurovision fan community shortly concluded that this was a rip off of Arvingarna's Eloise. Well, we see their point. And in our book that's not exactly a good thing. So we'll let you see for yourself, and do give us a shout and let us know what you think!